Difficulties are meant to rouse,
not discourage. The human spirit is
to grow strong by conflict.
William Ellery Channing,
American, 1780-1842
One way to peacefully resolve conflict is for each side
* to come together voluntarily
* to work cooperatively on the issues
* under the guidance of a trained facilitator
Conflict resolution should be a voluntary process that
* reflects the school's values if applied throughout the school
* is also modeled and followed by teachers, administrators, and staff
* will fail if perceived as a process for students only
The following process should be under the guidance of a trained facilitator.
Bring your conflicted parties together in a private location, and:
* Gather information: identify key issues without making accusations
* Focus on what the issues are, not who did what
* Avoid accusations, finding fault, calling names
Case study:: conflict resolution
Each party
* states their position and how it has affected them;
others listen attentively and respectfully without interruption
* in turn repeats or describes as best they can
the other's position to the listener's satisfaction
(c.f. Franklin Covey's fifth habit "Seek first to understand, then to be understood")
* tries to view the issue from other points of view beside the two conflicting ones
* brain storms to find the middle ground, a point of balance, creative solutions, etc.
* volunteers what he or she can do to resolve the conflict or solve the problem
Then:
* A formal agreement is drawn with agreed-upon actions for both parties;
* A procedure is identified should disagreement arise
* Progress is monitored
* Progress rewarded or celebrated
Each party in collaborative conflict resolution
should feel empowered to speak their mind, feel listened to, and feel they are a critical part of the solution. So also, each is obligated to respect and listen to others, try to understand their point of view; and actively work toward a mutual decision.
If the conflict cannot be resolved in this manner,
mediation by a third, neutral party (as in peer mediation); or
arbitration (enforced resolution by a neutral authority) are options
Education is an excellent setting
to learn problem solving and conflict resolution strategies. Whether the conflict is a classroom real-life simulation exercise or an on-going emotional experience, learning ways to resolve issues and collaboratively work through responses and solutions will teach you skills that can be applied in other settings. It can help you:
* accept differences
* recognize mutual interests
* improve persuasion skills
* improve listening skills
* break the re-active cycle or routine
* learn to disagree without animosity
* build confidence in recognizing win-win solutions
* recognize/admit to/process anger and other emotions
* solve problems!
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